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Tips From The Magic Of Making Up

When trying to reconcile people often get stuck in the "I don't know what to do" phase. Some get frustrated, angry or become overwhelmed with depression. Taking that first step in the right direction is hard, but necessary.

Below are three quick tips from the Magic Of Making Up.

#1 - Stop Begging/Stalking

Not everyone makes this mistake. Others are making subtle mistakes that may not seem like begging but have the same impact on a reconciliation attempt. The most obvious form is if you've uttered the phrase "I'll do anything for another chance".

While this is true, that statement has proven counterproductive when trying to save a relationship. It may not be fair, or even accurate, but saying that to your ex makes you appear desperate and undesirable.

So stop the begging, right now. Subtle forms of begging can be as simple as continuous text messages, emails or phone calls. It may not feel like begging to you, but it will to your ex.

#2 - Reconcile Your Emotions

You can't control the emotions of your ex, unfortunately. You can influence them, and even persuade them to trigger a positive emotion but you can't control them.

What you can do, however, is control YOUR emotions. This is an important step, so don't blow it off as nonsense. If you approach your ex and you still have feelings of depression or frustration it will come to the surface at the most unfortunate moment.

When trying to reconcile you only get a handful of chances to sway them. Do you really want one of those precious opportunities to be wasted because you broke down in tears in front of them?

It can and will happen if you don't come to terms with the breakup. So how do you do that? You have to get it out of your subconscious so you can begin to rationalize what you're feeling.

Once you begin to rationalize, it becomes less raw. You'll be less likely to break down into a puddle of tears when talking with your ex.

Something as simple as writing a few pages of what you're thinking and feeling. Burn it after you're done if you need to. But get it out.

Talking to a friend without holding back is also therapeutic. Talking to Bob, the guy in the next cubicle, who you sort of know doesn't count.

You have to dig in, release your most gut wrenching feelings to heal. I don't think Bob is ready for that. It has to be someone you trust, who you can say anything and everything to.

#3 - Set Your Plan Of Action

There are stages to every breakup and reconciliation. You have to work through each stage before progressing. Most people get into trouble when they skip over steps and race right to the finish line.

A common scenario is when someone writes a heart felt letter to their ex detailing their hopes and dreams. They apologize for everything that's gone wrong and everything they're ready to change.

And nothing happens. Do you know why?

Because they skipped a step. There's an initial contact phase BEFORE you can reach out like that. You have strong feelings about the breakup and relationship, but so do they.

You need to address their feelings before the "talk" about your hopes and dreams. If you don't eliminate their tension, frustration, and anger your heartfelt letter will not work.

If you eliminate the tension first, and wipe the slate clean you can set up the subsequent reconciliation attempt with a greater probability of succeeding.

For a more detailed plan on how to save your relationship download the full version of the Magic Of Making Up.

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